Numb
by temari13
Summary: Naruto is Hokage, and the village wants him to be his father. But that's impossible for him to be. Will this sever his marriage with Hinata? Songfic to Linkin Park song Numb.


I do not own Naruto. I do not own the song "Numb" by Linkin Park. I don't even own this fic. My lil sis wrote it and wanted me to post it.

----- **Numb** ------

Naruto tried to find some peace of mind... Not the easiest, when everyone's breathing down your neck, trying to get you to be something you don't want to be. Tiring. 'Can't they let it go? I'm not him! I'm not my father! Just because I'm his son doesn't mean I can do what they want me to! I can't save the world, be the best, have manners of the utmost caliber, and still be me!' What did they expect? For him to suddenly become just like him? An impossible task. It was weird. The villagers stalked him almost, not with murderous intent, but with a sort of curiosity that didn't fit them. He couldn't tell which was worse... Them hating him for even existing- Or them watching him and expecting greatness... Maybe it was reverse psychology... Nah. Villagers weren't bright enough... 'Just wait it out...'

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface  
Don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

Tears streamed down her face as she watched him stumble with his burden. 'He's not him! He is not his father! Why treat him like he is?!' She wanted to help, but nothing could be done. She tried to comfort him, but her words slipped right on by. She tried to ease his suffering, but her touch was just phasing right through. She'd been invisible once and she knew it was coming again. Every night he came home exhausted. Every night he walked right by. She'd cry herself to sleep at night, praying that her agony would pass, but it wouldn't. 'Naruto, I still love you, but I don't know how much more I can take.' She told him one night while he was asleep. He had frowned and she thought perhaps her worries- her lonely days and excruciatingly lonely nights- were at an end, yet she was again left to herself to cry into the barren and lonely world which was her own. So Hinata cried...

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I've become so tired so much more aware_

A man watched from far away as Naruto went through trials and tribulations. 'He's not me! Can't they see? Those Elders and villagers! Can't they see?! He may be my son, but he's still not me!' He regretted being the best and shoving this unbearable weight onto his son's shoulders. He watched as Naruto would try, fail, and continue to try even though he knew full well it was no use. Every time he failed. Every time they would yell at him. Every time the man would cringe as they tore into his son's mind, confusing him into thinking he could make them happy, could be someone he's not. 'Gomen, Naruto.' And he would turn, unable to watch any longer.

_I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

Naruto groaned... Another day- Another time to fail. It was impossible... He could not become what they wanted, he could not do it. They- the elders and villagers- did not understand the thin line between a gentle push and a full-fledged shove. He was trying desperately to be what they needed- what they wanted more like it- but fatigue and failure kept catching him in their snare. Another day, another failure, another lecture about how he wasn't paying attention to them. 'Just what I don't want! Tales of his glory!' And yet he went on...

_Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
And every second I waste is more than I can take_

Her burden too great to bear. Her sorrow too heavy to carry. Her loneliness too far great to say. Her death, too tragic to say. A beautiful woman, once the shyest, now lies there drowning in a pool of her blood. Friend's shock, a sister's wail, a Sensei's cry, but no husband's voice. Her invisibility reached it's peak, no more will she walk the streets, a sad farewell, to a friend- sister- and student, but no sound for the wife. Her soul was burdened, her mind was fogged, and her love was off to himself. On her tombstone, a poem is written, but not the words expected to find. Her last request, written in blood, was not to have "wife" written there.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

The man frowned. He watched as his son stood at the monument. No doubt, his son was blaming himself for his wife's death. He'd pretended not to be upset- tried to uphold the twenty-fifth shinobi rule. 'A shinobi must never show his emotions.' He'd tell himself. 'I must be strong like him.' It pained the man to see his son hurt. It pained him to see his only son cry himself to sleep at night when no one was watching. It hurt. He remembered how he was like that too- at one time or another. Crying, feeling completely useless, and being pushed harder than he could take. Although he did manage to overcome it, he had goofed up a lot.

_And I know I may end up failing too  
But I know You were just like me   
With someone disappointed in you_

He walks to the memorial. Traces her name. Even though it's pitch black out, he's come here so often the placement of her name is known. He wishes he could feel her beside him once more. Wishes he had paid more attention to her. But he hadn't. He couldn't feel her next to him while she was there, couldn't hear her voice. Now he tried desperately to feel, but she was gone. Some people said they could feel their departed loved ones in their hearts, but he could not. He determines to never let this happen again, never let them push him so far that he'd forget the one closest to him. He didn't want to lose anyone again...  
'From now on I'm Uzumaki Naruto, not Yondaime Hokage...'

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Tired of being what you want me to be  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Tired of being what you want me to be_

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